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| I haven't written consistently in quite a long time, apparently neither have you. Well actually YOU (if you're reading this on xanga) have because i figure you're like me, only reading posts when you write one or are about to write one (or stalking someone, or have a crush on someone (aka stalking someone)). But I subscribe to 315 ppl on xanga, of which i think maybe 10 still write stuff. Thats a pretty big drop off.
In any case, I remember a time when thoughts of posts would just POP into my mind and I would be like "oh man, so many things to write about! what to chooose??!" then i went to the phase of.. "man i should write something because i haven't put anything up in so long", which quickly moved to " i only have original thoughts approx 4-7x a year which is when i MIGHT post something IF i'm not too busy with other things". Actually it's also a cross between that last phase and the "dude, i've come to realize how LITTLE i know so it's kind of pointless to ramble about stuff anyways"
In any case, i don't know if I'm getting back into it but I did have a few thoughts on stuff i wanted to write about.. (dang it.. i think i just forgot one of em) maybe this is me starting to think (of things that don't immediately affect my life) again :)
"give the guy a break! - the psychology of the guy's mental process leading up to asking a girl out"
"Why has this (facebook) world gone QUIZ crazy?"
"We are all niche people - reflections on the slow going (failed?) C harmony experiment"
"the koreanizing of (some of) asian america"
i used parenthesis way to much.
*shrug*
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| Jesus meant to pass them by, but they freaked out at the sight of him. So he stopped, went to them and calmed them down. Not only did he calm them down but he calmed down their very circumstance; he silenced the noise, stilled the wind, and released them from their struggle to make progress. And they still didn’t get it.
(Paraphrase of Mark 6:45-52)
Jesus uses the phrase “he who has ears, let them hear” as a call for those whose hearts were attuned to His message to receive it and internalize it.
As a pastor I echo Jesus’ words, calling from my congregation, my members, my parish to call out to those whose hearts are attuned to His message. I lament and shake my head as words and pleas fall on deaf ears.
Too bad that in this passage it’s not the crowds, the congregation, nor the parish who has the hard hearts, it’s the disciples. The ones who’ve dropped everything in their life to follow Christ and his mission. One’s who have given up job, home, family, and security (and eventually life). And still their hearts are hard.
Too bad the hard hearted one in this passage is me.
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| FYI for those that haven't heard, I'm now pastoring in San Diego and one of my roles at church is to lead our rockin youth program. I send emails out to them and apparently some of the parents get the emails too.
here was the beginning to my email:
Party Peoples,
We got Big things Poppin, and lil things stoppin, ballin out on friday
nights and losin's not an option!
We've got so much going on this Friday to kick off the summer that i
have to put it in LIST form.....
and here was a parent response
Dear Pastor Clarence:
How exciting to see the Summer kicks off. ****** will come to the Friday Ballin. Will you meet at church before going to the ballin?
haha i love it. I responded to the parent to explain the nuances of the term ballin, but mad props to them for trying to get down with the lingo!
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| it's Tuesday.
Tuesday is the 1st day of my week. I get mondays off, thankfully, but Tuesdays seem to start off the same way, I do a devotional time with my senior pastor, I make my list of to-do's, I send out a ton of emails, and then i think about what to preach about on Sunday.
The "what to preach about" is often the hardest. Every tuesday I wait to be inspired. I need to be, to be honest. I tried to just start jotting thoughts down but it was so lifeless that I was starting to feel bored of myself. And so I spend the next hour or so looking for inspiration. I listen to music, I read the Bible, i watch youtube clips (from anything like the latest miss california controversy to hip hop dance clips), i read the news (which is often more saddening than inspiring, but pain brings about passion right?), I reflect, I journal, i read snippets of books and I pray. And somehow in faint whispers I feel like God speaks. vision is cast, a challenge is given, and likewise a desire to move in the midst of obstacles and difficulty is reborn.
It's an odd job situation that requires this to happen on a constant basis, but it very much fits my personality. I'm not good at grinding it out without the goals clearly in mind, and more importantly, a heart that longs for those goals to be achieved. but so far God has proven that seeking Him with what we have ends up in us finding Him, for me at least (although finding Him can be troubling as well as inspiring).
inspiration --> perspiration --> operation --> culmination --> inspiration
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| Some call em responsibilities, some call them burdens, some call them tasks, some call it duty. These intangible things that weigh more than we know. Some come with life-stage, some with family, some with work. I put on a new set of weights recently, the ones that come with being a pastor. Some of these are real and tangible. There is real responsibility, real stuff to take care of, real leadership to take place. But I realized I put on one burden that wasn't mine. Growth.
Mark 4:26
"And he said, "The kingdom of God is as if a man should scatter seed on the ground. He sleeps and rises night and day, and hte seed sprouts and grows; he knows not how. The earth produces by istelf, first the blade, then the ear, then the full grain in the ear. But when the grain is ripe, at once he puts in the sickle, because the harvest has come."
How are we going to grow? I don't know. I don't mean in size, although that's part of it. God produces, he has already. Jesus later talks about the mustard seed and the kingdom of God. How it starts smaller than the others but becomes a strong refuge. We are the mustard seed. Not just in terms of size, but even in terms of being new and untapped.
It's funny how even the "fake" burdens we put on ourselves can still weigh so much, the burden of other people's happiness, the burden of my family's stability, the burden of sanctification (although i would say that's an odd kind of shared burden between us and God). Well i'm gonna try taking this one off..
here's to looking forward =)
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